So it has been awhile since I’ve written on this blog and I’m pretty upset at myself for neglecting something so dear to me. I have been lost in life as of recently. I am at a point in which I’m not sure if I’m doing enough, enough as in career-oriented things. As many of you know, I just recently graduated from Coastal Carolina University, with a B.A. in Communications concentration in Journalism, but I’m at a standstill as to what is next? Do I continue to work at Best Buy and try to climb the ladder or do I find something career oriented?
There are always those horror stories that cloud my mind of people who graduate never finding a job in the field that they spent thousands of dollars on to obtain a degree in. Wel here I am in that same horror story. Graduating was a bittersweet moment for me, as I was happy to be done, but I did not do enough during my college stint to even obtain any internships that would be worthwhile. However, I did one internship, but felt as if I needed to work a full-time job, because (that is what I’m supposed to do right)? So I quit that internship as a Social Media Specialist to focus on working full-time to ensure I had enough money to not “bother” my parents. It sucked, but I managed (I think). Countless times I sold clothes that I loved to consignment shops to ensure that I had gas money to make it to work and school and pay for books. I never wanted anyone to know that I was struggling. Yes, this is prideful, but I never wanted people to see me in my valley experience.
Today as I was scrolling my Twitter feed, I have seen one of my followers got a job in his desired career field, and instead of being happy for him, I got jealous and upset. I felt it was unfair, but it was not right of me to think this way. I have seen him working on his craft day in and out, and I should be happy. However, it was just in that moment that I was distraught, but what I had to learn in that moment is that not everyone’s timing is the same. If everyone’s journey was the same, then what is the purpose of life?
In conclusion, my valley experience has taught me to let pride go when you need help the most, and there is nothing wrong with not being ok or wrong. This will be the first time a lot of you have hear me be this vulnerable. I am usually the person that tries to keep a poker face, but deep down inside broken inside. I’m trying to build from these broken pieces and become a better me every day.